sooner then i can react. =X

well i must say these few days, i cant help thinking bout the possibilities of me retaining! should i be in such position, what should i do. with exactly 7 days to my first paper my mind is disturbed not only by the high possibilities to having to retain. there are just too much information that is going through my head now and i cant FREAKING focus!!

it's not a matter of doing well for promos.. it's the fact that i cant even meet the minimum requirement and trust me, it's a rather huge difference in rank points. sometimes i just wish time would freeze or maybe i could turn back the clock?

maybe I'm the cause of my own plight, but i cant help seeking excuses to cover up for my mistakes. sometimes i do wonder.. wonder if i still have what it takes to move on. and when you feel something dear to you slipping away, the only thought is "if only.." but it's too late by now eh? promos... 7 days from now! hais.. thinking and reflecting on what i have done so far really make me feel like the greatest loser.

n yes.. i FEAR! i fear for what might happen or the cause had been done.. and what's left is the effect to take effect? n maybe this is the first time i feel my heart telling me "I DON"T WANT!" yet my body refuse to give in to my heart.. damn u brain! you lazy old shit! sending wrong signals to my eyes especially! SLEEP becomes an option i guess?